Losing Sanity...

It is now summer!

It is now very hot!

We have come back to Loreto for another grocery pick up from Elena. Fresh fruit and veggies fill our fridge and hanging baskets again. The anchorage is calm and the wind is light. We heard the Navy's pre-recorded warning blaring into the cockpit this morning, which means that Loreto and area remains closed. Beaches are still closed. We are still advised to stay on the boat to avoid fines.

When we come to civilization every few weeks, we have a "wishlist" already prepared before we hit internet land! A list of things to look up, research to be done, business back home to take care of, music to add to our playlists, games to download on the tablets and, of course, phone calls to family! All of this is happening while we try to stay present on Whatsapp for Elena to message us with questions regarding grocery shopping items and clarification on other requests we've given her. It's exhausting! It's overwhelming! By the time evening rolls around after the first day, Jamie and I feel like we've been assaulted by kid requests and information overload.

These last few weeks have been filled with adventure along with a good sprinkling of low moments. We don't want to complain about having to live out our days in Mexican paradise, but I think it's fair to say that the hard days do come. While waking up to perpetually blue skies and pelicans diving, it often feels a bit like groundhog day! By about 8 o'clock in the morning, the sun is hot enough to cook an egg on the deck - for real! We have been waking earlier and earlier every day to stay ahead of the sun and make sure we've had our coffee before the heat fills Arena and drives us all into the water. School work is hard for the kids to focus on. We have very limited physical contact with each other because, well, someone might die if they touch me with hot hands. I love my kids, I swear! The kids seem to fair better than Jamie and I in this weather and I wonder how long it will take to acclimate! We hear people say "Oh, just you wait! It's only June!" and it makes me smile...we WILL wait! That's all we CAN do! While the heat is ramping up to temperatures our Canadian bodies do not yet appreciate, the water gives me so much joy! I wander to the bow in the morning, following the length of chain with my eyes through the crystal clear water to look for the placement of the anchor. It looks as though it's just below the surface (thankfully that's not actually the case!) and the ocean floor is so visible that the drag marks from the shifting chain make designs in the sand. We are compelled to jump in! There are little zebra fish and yellow fish and black fish that skirt around us, munching on "stuff" around the hull that didn't get removed with the last bottom cleaning. I'm sure those are the official names of the fish ;) There are puffer fish sitting near the bottom, chilling out, staring up at us as we enjoy our first morning cool down in the water. Bronwyn is always one of the first ones in the water and usually the very last out. She just might be part mermaid!! Ada has been working on her lung capacity, pushing herself to depths down to 20 feet while free diving. Riley is just content living the life of Riley, in and out of the water! I love the mornings where the 6 of us slip into the water to swim and visit. The younger 2 kids are chatting away and playing games in the water while the rest of us slowly shake away the lethargy from restless sleeps and humid air. By the time everyone has climbed out and dried off, we're all ready to jump back in to cool off again! My imagination is much less active when the water is so clear, so I'm much more comfortable these days swimming away from the boat to float.

We have been struggling to get Lochlan to relax about his fear/dislike of swimming in the ocean and, as we all know, he has the will of 20 bears, so it hasn't been easy to coax him in to the water! While we had put him in some ultra effective swimming lessons while still in Canada, he has not been working on his skills. He has an imagination 10x that of mine and, rightfully so, has a fear of being in deep water even with a lifejacket. One day a few weeks ago, while the rest of us swam to stave off death-by-heat, my heart broke that he refused to come in with us and sat in the cockpit watching. So I bribed him. Yes I did. I told him that if he starts getting in the water with us and keeps working at swimming, we'd somehow find him a newTransformer for him to play with. It worked! He ran down and got his swim shorts on, put on his lifejacket and then got in the water, CRYING. He cried and he cried and he cried. He perched his legs around Jamie's neck and held on whiteknuckled! While it was hard to do, we decided we had to be firm. We made him release his death grip on Jamie's neck and try. Once he realized that he wasn't about to die, we could almost watch his fear wash away! We swam for hours and he didn't want to get out. Then he wanted his Transformer. Gah! We had to explain that he needs to keep going, keep trying, every day so that he can be safe. Julie on sv Love and Luck offered to spend some time with him, giving instruction to build his skills, so we are looking forward to taking advantage of her offer! She is a swim instructor and has offered her skills to locals in other parts of the world during their travels (pre-covid!). Lochlan reluctantly agreed to go to the reef with us a few days ago. We all wanted to snorkle, but someone would have to stay behind because Lochlan refused to try. Jamie and I decided to use the same tough-love tactics with him after unsuccessfully trying to convince him that it could be fun. We put his mask on and showed him how to put his face down with his lips closed. He cried and cried and cried. Then he put his face in! When his head popped up out of the water he yelled "WOW!!! It looks like outerspace down there!". He put his face down again and when he popped back up again, he shouted "WOW!!!". This continued for about 45 minutes with intervals of holding his breath and then "WOW!!" until his teeth were chattering and he was ready to get back in the dinghy. He asks every day to go snorkeling or swimming...he can't get enough of the world he had no idea existed under that scary body of water. My heart is full of pride for his bravery! Bravery is being afraid to do something but doing it anyway, right?

SV Kyrie joined us a few weeks ago after quarantining. With their 3 kids the same age as 3 of ours, they have added a new dimension to our group! Their 2 youngest girls are the same age as Bronwyn and Loch, so for the first time, all of our kids are paired up with friends. Lochlan has never had a little friend to spend hours playing Lego, Shopkins, and Calico Critters with and is just LOVING his "bestie" Megan. I took them swimming the other day and, with a healthy dose of competition between them, they both fully submerged their heads and bodies for the first time, of their own volition! That's no easy task with lifejackets, let me tell you! SV Kyrie is leaving us to plug in their air conditioner in at the dock in San Carlos, so they will be greatly missed.

I'm supposed to be making bread every second day, but I just can't force myself to turn the oven on. I've started making 3 loaves at a time, the pans placed like tetris on the rack, just to cut down on baking time. Our appetites have shrunk and our meals have become much more simple. Sometimes we just eat lentils and rice for days because that's what is already cooked! I cook large portions intentionally to have leftovers. We eat veggies raw with our meals and snack on almonds and "Japanese peanuts". We've started refrigerating the left over coffee in the pot to make iced coffee drinks in the afternoon and we go through litres and litres of water every day to stay hydrated. The water from the watermaker is devoid of any minerals, so we try our best to take the vitamin supplements that I bought. If I'd bought the gummy ones for Jamie and I too, we would be as faithful as the kids at taking our vitamins. Jamie FOUND 56 (yes! 56!) chocolate bars in the freezer the other week, so they count for something...

A few weeks ago, we had come in to Loreto to buy some sunshade material from Elena. UV material that we can cover most of the deck with. It looks hilarious, but the boat is almost 4 degrees cooler inside because of it and the deck no longer burns our feet. We've decided that the colour is that of a 90s grad dress...shimmering Hunter Green and it looks like we are living in a canvas shed on water, but we have some much appreciated reprieve from the direct sun. It has also added 2 extra living areas on the boat and Bronwyn has already claimed the top of the dodger as her school room. It might look stupid, but it feels a million times better!

The malfunctions and repairs have been increasing as of late. It's hard not to get irritated because life on Arena with kids means that the finish can't be maintained to a standard that we'd love to keep on her. The salt water and incessant sand take a toll on the teak floors. The solor panels aren't communicating very well with the control panel, the salt water uptake got blocked, the TV broke, the fresh water pump keeps fritzing, and the kids' school laptop charger broke, 2 vital fans down...just to name a few of the frustrations. Just when things started to feel a bit ridiculous, our new backup hardrive (that wasn't our backup anymore because our primary one fell off of the nav station in some rowdy seas) decided to give up the ghost. All of our pictures, music, movies, books, tons of school stuff.... everything gone, again! Since Jamie is sooo awesome and handy, though, he is always able to fix things, EVEN when he is frustrated! I'm so thankful that he is resourceful because I am absolutely stunted when it comes to technology or systems know-how. I'm learning, but am relieved that my jobs are less fix-y than his are! Everything is (knock on wood) up and running again, except for our hard drive. We have no idea why it stopped working but it doesn't seem to be a fix that is in Jamie's repertoire of skills. Elena has very kindly allowed us to use her address here in Loreto to have 2 new hard drives shipped via Amazon Mexico. It is much more expensive to order down here, but our choices are limited, so we are thankful that we can order online! We also ordered some back up fans and I slipped in an order of wooden spoons and a special bribe for Lochlan's efforts in the water. We will have to find a good hiding spot for that!

With all of the unknowns of this life remaining, there are some big emotional moments that surface from time to time. We miss family. My dad has had some health struggles and I desperately wish I could be there for both him and Mom. Such a strange feeling though, because being in Canada wouldn't bring me closer to my parents. With the pandemic still flaring, there is a helplessness that hovers. We're missing our oldest niece's 16th birthday next month, and all the nieces and nephews in between, all the way to our youngest niece who will be turning 4. I miss spending days at the orchard with Mom and Dad on Salt Spring Island. These are all of the events we knowingly left behind for this life. We knew it would be hard, but it is more emotional than I figured it would be. Maybe because it is complicated to go back with covid. Maybe it's because our choice is limited at best. Maybe it's so emotional because IT'S SO HOT HERE! I digress...

We have no route planned, no specific destination at the moment. We make plans and change them at whim because we can. We have had some uncomfortable swell to contend with, so we may try something new for a few days as the southeasterlies pick up. But maybe we won't! We can always go back "home" to San Juanico for a while. Eventually we'll continue further north to Bahia Los Angeles and beyond, but for now we make no plans. When things settle a bit for Mexico, we'll know more about where we are allowed to go and which harbours will open up to us. At the moment, we don't expect any answers from anybody. The world is desperately hurting and a lot messy. We will wait quietly because we can.

At any rate, all's well for us. We have amazing days and not so amazing days, just like the rest of the world right now. We feel isolated while not being able to go to the store to get what we need and we feel a bit lost at times, but we also love being lost out here, so go figure. Life is life, regardless of the location. We feel a lot closer to the kids these days...not sure why, maybe an attitude change, maybe survival instinct! Or maybe it's because we are watching them closer and really starting to realizing how cool these 4 little/not-so-little people are! Jamie and I are the lucky ones! We are so thankful for this time, this place, this life.